Monday, 24 February 2014

Finding it harder and harder

People say time heals.

Some people would expect you to be "over it" by now.

Many don't understand how one can be so sad after losing someone you didn't "know"...

Well here's the thing... Time doesn't "heal". You learn how to carry on functioning but it never gets easier. Just less raw.

It has been 21 months since we lost Harry and I most certainly am not over it.

People even thought that having Florence would "make things better".
Wrong again. In some ways it is harder.

I have accepted the facts. I have accepted my feelings. I cannot accept Harry's loss of his tiny life nor the injustice of what happened.

Harry didn't die just because of undiagnosed vasa Praevia. It was a poorly managed birth from start to finish. For more information on this see my previous blog post:

http://missingharry.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/worse-than-we-couldve-imagined.html?m=1

This week I have to prepare a witness statement in my quest to seek justice for Harry. This has bought back many feelings of anger. And this anger is very strong. How dare someone be allowed to get away with taking the life of my child due to laziness or neglect? How is this ok? My child?! My poor baby who was so loved and so wanted and had so many hopes and dreams before him.

And  instead of being at home playing with his family, my son is wrapped in a white blanket and buried in a white casket, because someone had an off day at work.

No.

That is not ok.

And this will not be ok, never ever.

Poor Harry had everything taken away from him.

And I have had everything taken from me.

I lost a massive part of me when he died. And my life will never be as it was.

I will seek justice for my boy. He deserves that.